Health and Wellbeing

What are you afraid of?

In the past couple of weeks, I felt like fate slapped me in the cheeks quite a few times! I was guessing that it’s been poking so many times but I refused to take notice. Because I didn’t want to deal with whatever it was; I was too busy and didn’t have time. So it poked me harder. This time I took notice. I stopped and listened.

You see, sometimes, many times, a lot of the times we’re so engulfed and wrapped up in this so called life that we forget to live. To live does not mean always doing. It can become meaning less doing, doing things with less meaning. So many of us too busy doing and we forget being. Being still. Living. To feel the joy, the peace, the being. That’s just not possible I hear myself say sometimes. Can you relate?

When we’re busy doing, we’re not listening let alone being mindful. We may be doing without thinking because we know what we’re doing. Do we really though? Too much doing we end up pushing and keep pushing through. To get done. And then what? We’re missing the whole point of living because we become disconnected. We become the slaves of time, we become disempowered because we’re being dictated by tasks, by doing tasks. We become slaves to our external environment.

We forget we have the heart and the body that have been trying to tell us something. We become disintegrated, disconnected. Because when we stop doing, we don’t know what to do. We still don’t make connection with the heart and the body because the mind races to get things done whether the heart and body say wait, not now.

We’re then missing a huge whole point. We don’t allow our heart to lead and show us the way. We don’t hear our body crying because it’s too exhausted. The mind just doesn’t rest. We become disillusioned, disgruntled, dissatisfied, unhappy and unfulfilled. We become further away from ourselves.

And yet we still resist to come back. To ourselves, our home, our body, our heart and the connection. Because of the emotions and stuff that we might have to deal with. We are afraid of what we might find. What could it be? Do I dare go there? And if i don’t, it might just go away. It won’t go away.

The discovery can be painful and powerful in equal measure. But it changes you. I have been living with deep rooted shame and guilt and telling myself the same stories over and over again. They’re no true. I’ve started making my way home quite sometime ago and learning to be comfortable at home. It is a journey of discovery and it’s exciting. I see light and I feel lighter. I’ve started telling myself that these stories are neither true or real.

Can I invite you, and only when you feel ready, to write down the stories you have been telling yourself that are not true and have stopped you from taking action or moving forward?

Be bold. Be brave. Just be you.

Be bold. Be brave. Just be you.

Fill up your cup first

There’s nothing wrong with me or YOU.

But there's something not right about the things that we think we need to do to be accepted, fit in, belong and feel worthy. To conform to the norms that do not serve us. Such as the beliefs that we have to be able to do everything and that we cannot stop or perhaps in many cases we do not allow ourselves to stop and take a break, because hey there's so much to do and not enough time in a day right? One example, who's in this day of age can luxuriate themselves in 30 mins lunch break? We have to sit at our desk to eat our lunch, right? We just work our butts off, including through our lunch, because if we don't and we take a lunch break, oh God forbid what our colleagues or bosses are going to say about us? And of course, we cannot possibly ask for help when we're up to here in the neck with mountains of work to do. I mean that's still not enough because when we get home, there are endless jobs still to do - cooking, cleaning, tidying up and before we know it's time for bloody bed!

There are few things here that I'd like to address. And I'd like to address boundaries; how we treat ourselves is how we show, allow and accept how people treat us. 
You set the tone.

You do not need to be a martyr or superwoman where you say yes to everything and you do not need to do everything yourself. Be realistic about your own expectations. Know what you need - to eat, drink, take a break, walk, sleep, sit and do nothing; these are just some examples of your basic needs. Tend to these basic needs first. Fulfilling these needs isn't a luxury, it's a necessity because without which you're not OK. So you decide what your needs are and then make sure you do them. Say yes to your needs first, then you'll feel more ready to say yes to other things (within reason).

For those who don't know what I did before, I used to work in a multi-role profession, say yes to many things - because it was my job and I wanted to do my job well. I wanted to fit in, be accepted and feel my worth. I was running around like a headless chicken agreeing to do too many things and lost sight of the things that were happening right under my nose. Because this is what happens when you're too busy running around after jobs and people, you lose sight and become disconnected from yourself.

I feel you, your pain, your frustration and I want to help to find ways to come back to you again.

It's OK to say no. It's OK to say you're tired. It's OK to say that you have already got too much on. It's OK to ask for help. It's absolutely bloody OK to say no to others but it NOT OK for you not to be OK.

Fill up your cup first. You’ve got this!

What are you going to say NO to today so that you can have a breather and tend to your needs?

Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks for reading and I hope it resonates with you.

Claryn xx

Take care of you first.

Take care of you first.

Everyday is a fresh new start

Happy New Year!

The first Saturday of the new year saw me and my daughter did our first Park Run. Having not run properly for about 18 months I was excited and hopeful that it would bring my mojo back for running and my fitness back on track. Doing more physical activities is one of my new intentions this year having lost motivation to do anything ‘hardcore’ or ‘yang’ in the last 2 months since I terminated my gym membership. I really felt something else was missing despite continuing my yoga practice.

Connection came to mind as I was running. Connection with nature, water, farm animals, other people, my daughter and myself. I’d forgotten how good it felt running outside again! Being able to zone in and connecting the mind, the body and the breath - either focusing on my strides or my breaths or sometimes looking up and absorbing the nature’s beauty has lifted something inside me. I felt increased connectedness and understanding with my daughter and myself. Although I didn’t talk to many people, I still felt some sort of connection through sharing mutual interest and goal - running and completing the course. There was a huge sense of community spirit and solidarity. It was heart-warming. And to do it in a such beautiful setting surrounded by nature, water and sheeps, I couldn’t have asked for more! I had way more than what I bargained for!

It made me realise that it wasn’t just about the running. The running was a vehicle to achieve this unexpected realisation. It gave me an opportunity and space to zone-in. I felt like my mind was being wrapped in soft smooth bubbles of quietness and stillness that it was hard not to go inward and become reconnected with myself. On a physical level, my body felt light, alive and energised, and on a spiritual level, I felt high-spirited and elated with joy. I felt I have become more open and expansive. I felt like everything had been reset.

Completing a 5k run felt like a challenge, and doing it without stopping having not run for so long and overcoming that, was an accomplishment for me. It really reminds me that when there’s a will, there’s a way and this applies to anything we want to do in order to improve our lives. Starting can be hard, but once you’ve started it becomes easier. Taking small steps, one step at a time is a great way to achieve your goals. Consistency, dedication and commitment are all part of the recipe for accomplishment. And to accomplish something, whatever it may be, we must remember to give ourselves time, love and patience.

Giving ourselves time, being kind and patient with yourself, honouring, protecting and appreciating yourself, as well as nourishing and nurturing your mind, body and spirit. Remember to always go back to yourself.

To sum up, there are 2 things I take away from this experience (you may have guessed it) - overcoming challenges and making connection. My message to you is that challenges are usually personal and something that we have to do ourselves, but always know that there are other people who can and will support us (family, friends, community). We need to get better at asking and receiving help. Choose people who nourish and enrich your souls, people who lift you up and are there to cheer you on and celebrate you, as well as those who catch you where you’re down and stay by your side. Remember also that when there’s a will, there’s a way - if you want to change something, do it now. Start where you are, don’t wait. Everyday gives you a chance for a fresh start.

I’d be interested to know any recent challenges you’ve overcome or anything that you want to change but don’t know where to begin and feel stuck. Leave me a comment or drop me an email. Hope you’ve found this blogpost useful.

Thank you for reading.

Sending peace and love

Claryn xx

It’s never too late to start again.

It’s never too late to start again.