Take back control through self-care
If you grew up with one or both of your parents having anger issues and/or were surrounded by conflict and tension, you would have learned to be good and a master at tiptoeing around the house in order to keep the peace. Maybe unconsciously you took on the responsibility for being the peacekeeper in the hopes of family staying together.
How this is conveyed into your adulthood might be that you’re continuing with the role of being the responsible peacekeeper who’s also striving to be perfect and making sure everyone is taken care of.
Putting yourself first never occurred to you. You think it’s indulgent and luxurious to take time for you to go to a yoga class or take yourself out for a coffee. It’s selfish. You can’t possibly be selfish; which is why when you start to do that, you feel guilty so you don’t make it a priority and only do it when it fits in with everyone and everything else. But after looking after everyone and everything else, you’re too tired to do anything else but crash on the sofa.
This is how you get stuck in this self-sabotaging cycle that keeps repeating.
You can now begin to connect the dots and see how this goes back a long way from your childhood experiences, stories and memories.
Deep down you’re still feeling responsible for the role you didn't think you played well as a child for keeping your parents’ marriage and keeping the family together. The guilt stops doing what you need to do that’s good for you, you feel anxious because you’re second guessing about what you ‘should’ do and get frustrated with yourself as you keep going around in circles. It’s exhausting and overwhelming.
The bad news is you are the one who can break these circles.
The good news is you are the one who gets to break these circles. You have a choice and making a choice is an act of empowerment.
Making a choice stops you second guessing, it gets you to take action, and it relieves anxiety because you’re now in your body and no longer in your mind. Connecting with your body is what moves your anxiety and releases you from its grip. You’re now in charge and taking action. How powerful does that feel?
This can be your first step to taking care of you. Move your body - stretch, dance, sing, breathe, play, walk, run, just move. No one is going to suffer when you’re taking better care of yourself. In fact, they’ll be happy for you and might even do it for themselves - you’re creating a movement with rippling impact.
Love Claryn xxx
Thrive is the safe container where you can get yourself untangled, get to the roots and repair what’s fragmented. I will hold space for you where you feel safe to allow yourself to be heard, seen and listened to without judgement and with compassion and presence.
Together we work on creating new stories so that you can see things with new perspectives and be at peace with yourself. If you feel something in your body, then follow that nudge and book in your first session - we can start as soon as next week! If you’re not sure but you could do with this, then book a free call.
