What are you afraid of?

In the past couple of weeks, I felt like fate slapped me in the cheeks quite a few times! I was guessing that it’s been poking so many times but I refused to take notice. Because I didn’t want to deal with whatever it was; I was too busy and didn’t have time. So it poked me harder. This time I took notice. I stopped and listened.

You see, sometimes, many times, a lot of the times we’re so engulfed and wrapped up in this so called life that we forget to live. To live does not mean always doing. It can become meaning less doing, doing things with less meaning. So many of us too busy doing and we forget being. Being still. Living. To feel the joy, the peace, the being. That’s just not possible I hear myself say sometimes. Can you relate?

When we’re busy doing, we’re not listening let alone being mindful. We may be doing without thinking because we know what we’re doing. Do we really though? Too much doing we end up pushing and keep pushing through. To get done. And then what? We’re missing the whole point of living because we become disconnected. We become the slaves of time, we become disempowered because we’re being dictated by tasks, by doing tasks. We become slaves to our external environment.

We forget we have the heart and the body that have been trying to tell us something. We become disintegrated, disconnected. Because when we stop doing, we don’t know what to do. We still don’t make connection with the heart and the body because the mind races to get things done whether the heart and body say wait, not now.

We’re then missing a huge whole point. We don’t allow our heart to lead and show us the way. We don’t hear our body crying because it’s too exhausted. The mind just doesn’t rest. We become disillusioned, disgruntled, dissatisfied, unhappy and unfulfilled. We become further away from ourselves.

And yet we still resist to come back. To ourselves, our home, our body, our heart and the connection. Because of the emotions and stuff that we might have to deal with. We are afraid of what we might find. What could it be? Do I dare go there? And if i don’t, it might just go away. It won’t go away.

The discovery can be painful and powerful in equal measure. But it changes you. I have been living with deep rooted shame and guilt and telling myself the same stories over and over again. They’re no true. I’ve started making my way home quite sometime ago and learning to be comfortable at home. It is a journey of discovery and it’s exciting. I see light and I feel lighter. I’ve started telling myself that these stories are neither true or real.

Can I invite you, and only when you feel ready, to write down the stories you have been telling yourself that are not true and have stopped you from taking action or moving forward?

Be bold. Be brave. Just be you.

Be bold. Be brave. Just be you.

Fill up your cup first

There’s nothing wrong with me or YOU.

But there's something not right about the things that we think we need to do to be accepted, fit in, belong and feel worthy. To conform to the norms that do not serve us. Such as the beliefs that we have to be able to do everything and that we cannot stop or perhaps in many cases we do not allow ourselves to stop and take a break, because hey there's so much to do and not enough time in a day right? One example, who's in this day of age can luxuriate themselves in 30 mins lunch break? We have to sit at our desk to eat our lunch, right? We just work our butts off, including through our lunch, because if we don't and we take a lunch break, oh God forbid what our colleagues or bosses are going to say about us? And of course, we cannot possibly ask for help when we're up to here in the neck with mountains of work to do. I mean that's still not enough because when we get home, there are endless jobs still to do - cooking, cleaning, tidying up and before we know it's time for bloody bed!

There are few things here that I'd like to address. And I'd like to address boundaries; how we treat ourselves is how we show, allow and accept how people treat us. 
You set the tone.

You do not need to be a martyr or superwoman where you say yes to everything and you do not need to do everything yourself. Be realistic about your own expectations. Know what you need - to eat, drink, take a break, walk, sleep, sit and do nothing; these are just some examples of your basic needs. Tend to these basic needs first. Fulfilling these needs isn't a luxury, it's a necessity because without which you're not OK. So you decide what your needs are and then make sure you do them. Say yes to your needs first, then you'll feel more ready to say yes to other things (within reason).

For those who don't know what I did before, I used to work in a multi-role profession, say yes to many things - because it was my job and I wanted to do my job well. I wanted to fit in, be accepted and feel my worth. I was running around like a headless chicken agreeing to do too many things and lost sight of the things that were happening right under my nose. Because this is what happens when you're too busy running around after jobs and people, you lose sight and become disconnected from yourself.

I feel you, your pain, your frustration and I want to help to find ways to come back to you again.

It's OK to say no. It's OK to say you're tired. It's OK to say that you have already got too much on. It's OK to ask for help. It's absolutely bloody OK to say no to others but it NOT OK for you not to be OK.

Fill up your cup first. You’ve got this!

What are you going to say NO to today so that you can have a breather and tend to your needs?

Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks for reading and I hope it resonates with you.

Claryn xx

Take care of you first.

Take care of you first.

Everyday is a fresh new start

Happy New Year!

The first Saturday of the new year saw me and my daughter did our first Park Run. Having not run properly for about 18 months I was excited and hopeful that it would bring my mojo back for running and my fitness back on track. Doing more physical activities is one of my new intentions this year having lost motivation to do anything ‘hardcore’ or ‘yang’ in the last 2 months since I terminated my gym membership. I really felt something else was missing despite continuing my yoga practice.

Connection came to mind as I was running. Connection with nature, water, farm animals, other people, my daughter and myself. I’d forgotten how good it felt running outside again! Being able to zone in and connecting the mind, the body and the breath - either focusing on my strides or my breaths or sometimes looking up and absorbing the nature’s beauty has lifted something inside me. I felt increased connectedness and understanding with my daughter and myself. Although I didn’t talk to many people, I still felt some sort of connection through sharing mutual interest and goal - running and completing the course. There was a huge sense of community spirit and solidarity. It was heart-warming. And to do it in a such beautiful setting surrounded by nature, water and sheeps, I couldn’t have asked for more! I had way more than what I bargained for!

It made me realise that it wasn’t just about the running. The running was a vehicle to achieve this unexpected realisation. It gave me an opportunity and space to zone-in. I felt like my mind was being wrapped in soft smooth bubbles of quietness and stillness that it was hard not to go inward and become reconnected with myself. On a physical level, my body felt light, alive and energised, and on a spiritual level, I felt high-spirited and elated with joy. I felt I have become more open and expansive. I felt like everything had been reset.

Completing a 5k run felt like a challenge, and doing it without stopping having not run for so long and overcoming that, was an accomplishment for me. It really reminds me that when there’s a will, there’s a way and this applies to anything we want to do in order to improve our lives. Starting can be hard, but once you’ve started it becomes easier. Taking small steps, one step at a time is a great way to achieve your goals. Consistency, dedication and commitment are all part of the recipe for accomplishment. And to accomplish something, whatever it may be, we must remember to give ourselves time, love and patience.

Giving ourselves time, being kind and patient with yourself, honouring, protecting and appreciating yourself, as well as nourishing and nurturing your mind, body and spirit. Remember to always go back to yourself.

To sum up, there are 2 things I take away from this experience (you may have guessed it) - overcoming challenges and making connection. My message to you is that challenges are usually personal and something that we have to do ourselves, but always know that there are other people who can and will support us (family, friends, community). We need to get better at asking and receiving help. Choose people who nourish and enrich your souls, people who lift you up and are there to cheer you on and celebrate you, as well as those who catch you where you’re down and stay by your side. Remember also that when there’s a will, there’s a way - if you want to change something, do it now. Start where you are, don’t wait. Everyday gives you a chance for a fresh start.

I’d be interested to know any recent challenges you’ve overcome or anything that you want to change but don’t know where to begin and feel stuck. Leave me a comment or drop me an email. Hope you’ve found this blogpost useful.

Thank you for reading.

Sending peace and love

Claryn xx

It’s never too late to start again.

It’s never too late to start again.

When 'I know' isn't enough

The words ‘I know’ I used to use really often, and even now I catch myself think and say when I hear something that I already know thinking that ‘I know’. Do you know what I mean and can you resonate with this?

But now, most of the time I’m more aware as I think of those words when I hear or listen to someone say something or read something. It was not until recently that I realised what saying those words meant or had implications to. It may not sound like a great deal. So what if I think or say that. One, it closes you up to listening and two, just because you know it doesn’t mean you’re doing it. I wanted to talk to you about the latter but first I’d like to address number one.

So this is my take on it and my experience. It did not consciously come to me that ‘ I know’ actually shuts off opportunity. I think I was too arrogant to not know and was afraid that people thought I didn‘t know and I thought that I should know. It was the perfectionist in me that I wanted people to think that I knew everything so they would come to me for things and if they didn’t then something must have been wrong with me and I’d beat myself up over this.

I realised many things but what I want to discuss briefly here is how I realised that I’d miss out on opportunities. Because when we know something, we may think we know it all so we switch our mind off to listen and receive new information, new knowledge. And it doesn’t matter if it’s the information you already know, it’s the person/people we hear it from that matters more, Because it will make us learn and see different perspectives and experiences. It helps us make new connection and develop deeper and more meaningful one with another human being. It widens our perspectives, views, enhances the feelings of human-ness and that we’re not alone in this. And as listeners, we don’t know how impactful and privileged to be in this position of trust to be told by another person and how it can change their world too. Even if it feels that it’s something very minor to us and we may not know what benefit or impact it may have on use at that time, it may well do later on. It helps us to become more open-minded, to share more freely, to have more connection, to become more compassionate and empowered to change because we know we can.

The second part of this, without action, “I know’ isn’t enough and means nothing. Having the knowledge without doing something with it has no meaning or impact. And that’s a fact. Whether it is to take a new action or to do something different in how we act or think to make changes for the better. Knowing something is one thing and without action, it means nothing. Knowing that you’re unhealthy and needing to become healthier or unhappy and wanting to become happier or wanting something to happen but doing nothing about it, will not change anything unless you’re taking an action.

Your action matters. Going forward and changing things to make your life improved and make living easier needs action. Starting something is often hard, change is not easy but only for short period of time but staying in one place, doing the same things over and over again is more painful and difficult. It’s like a hamster in a wheel.

Doing it on your own isn’t easy either, we’re humans who need connection, support and love from others. The good news is there’s always help out there, all you’ve got to do is find the courage and ask. The worst answer you’ll get is a No and you move on and ask again until you get help. But don’t say No to yourself when you want your life to improve.

Working with a coach, mentor, therapist can help. As a coach I help you find ways to move from overwhelm or stress to calmness. To have a taster how you can do this, come along to one of the workshops I’m co-hosting with the Lean Pantry in Stamford on the 26th November 2018 or 28th January 2019 7-9pm. We will do some breathing practice and few yoga stretches to start with before a short talk on tackling stress and overwhelm, increasing productivity and moving into calmness and zen. We will then discuss it further over delicious and hearty supper which will have freshly cooked and prepared for you, and going home, you’ll take with you a super gorgeous box filled with beautiful health and beauty products that are free from anything artificial and chemical allowing you to further relax in days even weeks to come. You can find out more about the workshop here.

Change comes with action and to make noticeable changes and real transformation, consistency is needed. Motivation is needed to maintain that consistency. Hence working with a coach, who’s passionate about helping people who’ve had enough of feeling constantly tired, overwhelmed and uninspired and want to live a calmer and more organised life, can be just what you need now.

Come along to the Stress to Zen workshop if you’re near Stamford or know anyone who might benefit from coming, or arrange a free 30 min session to find out how working with me can help you make sustainable and profound change in your life and make you feel calmer and enjoy life better.

Being a mother: a personal insight

Upon hearing a friend saying that she didn’t want to have a child but did and loved him after he was born, my daughter immediately asked me if she was ‘wanted’. I looked at her and said 'yes'. She said 'good'. I don’t know why but her spontaneity and directness took me by surprise and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I don’t think it was something that I could ask my mother.

At 16, my daughter is honest, matter-of-fact and saying it as it is. I admire this in her. She’s such a strong character already, and raw. As a parent I feel I have to be diplomatic and objective. She’s a very sensitive soul and I always want her to be able to be herself, ask without hesitation and express herself freely. I never want her to feel unwanted or unworthy. Although at times I may not agree with her I try my best to be diplomatic and objective so that I don’t make her feel wronged, unvalued or unworthy in expressing her opinions, thoughts and feelings. I’m teaching her to be mindful and thoughtful in a way that she doesn’t realise she’s taking it in and I can only hope that she can carry herself with grace. Which I think she does a lot of the time.

Being a mother, parent is undoubtedly the most stressful and difficult job. And equally the most rewarding and beautiful job. It’s a balancing act all the time. Having worked with many mothers and working mothers in the past, it is without a doubt that our wellbeing is definitely of paramount importance for us to function and flourish as individuals, mothers, wives, and working mothers. From professional and personal experience I really cannot stress highly and deeply enough that we really do have to look after ourselves first before we can effectively or fruitfully function in our multiple roles. 

To be good enough role models, to spend quality time with our children and family, to be present, to be available and to respond to the needs of our children. Because children pick up on the things that we do and not always what we say. Investing in our own wellbeing means we invest in the wellbeing of our children too. A lot of the things that I know now I wish I knew when my children were much younger. We can’t change the past and as parents being good enough is enough for our children. As long as we have tried and keep trying our best. Because that is all they ask for. Children are very resilient and forgiving and as parents we want to preserve and protect that.

As mothers of daughters, if we continue to fail to make our own needs met and always put others first, our daughters will see that this is acceptable and 'the' thing to do. Consequently, they grow up repeating the cycle. I certainly want my daughter to put her needs first so that she can continue to flourish, see herself as being the most important person in the world first so that she can be her best, do her best and give her best to serve others. And I am trying my best to teach her by setting a good example.

(She chose me to be her mum, there was no way on this earth I would consider refusing).

Cortona, Tuscany, July 2018

Cortona, Tuscany, July 2018

Your perception of me is....

I feel I have the need to write about why we care so much about what other people think of us. I used to care and worry too much about what people thought of me and it felt like everything I did, I had to ask myself so many questions such as how would it/I look, what would I look like, would it be approved, what if nobody liked it, what if people talked about me behind my back, what would they think if I said this and the list went on.

Looking back, I think it stemmed from being bullied in school. I felt I was doing things and behaving for other people's approval and feeling the pressure to perfect everything. Being bullied made me behave 'accordingly' to prevent the bullying recurring. But behaving 'accordingly' by the bully's standard made me so unhappy and had to put a happy front. It also made me feel so uncomfortable and always insecure as I would wait for bully to say something nice and make me feel better and secure again; to validate me essentially (she would be nice to me when she needed my help). I made myself feel inadequate as I consumed myself with negative thoughts such as 'what's wrong with me? if only I had this, if only I was that, if only I was't, didn't', and struggled to do things with ease because I felt so bad about myself and was fighting with myself constantly, blaming me for being me. 

This impact of this experience stayed with me for a long time. Worrying and caring too much what other people would think of me; would I be bullied again if I didn't behave in certain way. Would I be liked and fit it? I can't remember exactly what the turning point was, either something I read or heard or someone said; the penny dropped. I was fed up with being unhappy and allowing constant negativity. From that day onward, I started answering my own question with another question. In fact a whole new dialogue started in my head. For example: 'what would they say if I did this, said this?' 
So, I answered this question with another question 'so what if they said this that and the other, would it change my life?'. I would say that when we're worrying about what others think of us, it's mostly us doubting our own uniqueness, truth and bravery. 

Being worried about what others think is our own judgment and reflection of ourselves. We can spend too much time thinking what other people think of us and stopping us in our way, and in reality they probably couldn't careless; each of us has our own issue. I've become more mindful when I hear people passing judgment or undesirable comments about others; they're probably unhappy with themselves or their situation and maybe by passing undesirable comments about others or criticising others, might make them feel happier.

But I doubt it. I learnt those who do, lack self-compassion and therefore feel difficult to show compassion towards others. They probably have their own issues and instead of addressing them, they choose to ignore and bury them, and prefer to talk about other people. Their opinions don't matter. And we ought to learn to stop wasting our time and energy worrying about others and continue living our lives. When we start judging others, we judge ourselves too. They judge themselves too and may well be a reflection of their own circumstances. We can't know and control what other people think of us, it's none of our business. But what we can do is choose how we respond to it, and how we respond it is how we treat ourselves, with kindness and gentleness and we forgive them because we rise above it. Only us who can decide whether to allow what people think of us affect our lives.

The way we treat ourselves is how we teach others to treat us. We have to learn to build healthy boundaries. When we respect ourselves, people will too. It doesn't mean we're mean or inflexible or unhelpful, it means we're treating ourself well and people will see that and they will do the same. In fact people will admire you 'Gosh I wish I could be like her'. We can set a great example as we become more confident, true and authentic to our own uniqueness.

I just wanted you to ask yourself this one question first: 'is what they think going to change my life?'. It might trigger something else in your life that you might like to change, but you do it for you to make your life better and not for other people. Be yourself because the right people will stay, be loyal and faithful to you and as for the rest, you know the answer to that. Don't be afraid to lose friends or even family. You have the longest relationship with yourself, so be true to you, be honest with yourself. The discomfort, heartache, difficult feelings and emotions will come up and that's normal, honour them, work through them, you'll find the answers of what's true and meaningful to you. Embrace and love that.

As for me, I'm still working on embracing the wholeness of myself too and doing my own things that is aligned and true to me and if people think it's weird or whatever else, they're entitled to their own opinions but I know my own reality is and is not based on their opinion. Even though it does cross my mind what others might think of me, I'm human, I turn it around and say to myself 'does it matter?'

I leave you with this quote:

"Your perception of me is a reflection of you; my reaction to you is an awareness of me" - Unknown

Sending love Claryn xx

Investing in yourself

This is the subject that's close to my heart and one that I often battle with myself. But I believe it is a huge part of self worth. How so? Let me explain and then I'd love to know your views.

Whether it is eating well which can cost a lot of money and create confusion of what to buy, cook and eat, cooking which does take a lot of time sometimes, having treatment such as massage and other complementary therapies, taking up short courses to update your skills and knowledge, studying for a career change and working with trainers, mentors and coaches for business, lifestyle or health reasons. They all use money, effort and time. I don't know about you but the general feelings that I get is that often people think twice about this; I certainly used to, all the time, and tried to justify whether it was worth the money and time, what would be the compromise etc etc. Then the guilt and fear set in, what if this and that. The results of the things that we invest in ourselves tend not to be instant or are always directly visible or concrete, right? For example, that your body feels relaxed after a massage, you feel good after a workout that might show as sweat and red face but you can't see the result immediately, and when you've been studying you may not necessarily implement everything at once and you may not be able to see the result immediately either. If you can't yourself, how can you convince people how it's made the difference to you? It's not like having our done and nails done that we can see the result immediately or putting on new clothes or shoes.

Investing time, money and energy into ourselves is a form of self-worth and self-respect. Why would we not deserve to eat well and eat right so that our body can take care of us? Why would we not treat ourselves because our body is crying for it? We would do anything if it was our children, we would make them feel better, why would we often think twice, three times, forever when it came to meeting our needs? Why would we hesitate to invest in ourselves? Our whole-being is on an endless journey, wouldn't we invest in a car for it work effectively and efficiently to take us on to our travels? Why would we not do it to our body, our precious self? Surely we're worth millions over the cars?

I was toying on the idea this morning whether to book myself in for a massage this morning for my neck and shoulders which have been painful for a couple of weeks now (practising yoga does help eases them) and my left arm which I injured a month ago and doesn't seem to resolve despite stretching and moving it. I was toying because I felt guilty spending yet more ££ on me but I needed it, because I need not to feel pain or numbness that I can't lift heavy stuff and every time I move in certain ways it hurts. It's annoying and frustrating. So anyway I decided, I've tried everything and I now need help. It's absolutely OK to surrender and ask for help. We all need others to help us. It's more than OK to invest in our lives, health and well-being. In fact it's more than OK, it's a necessity. If you don't invest in yourself, who will?

It's the feeling that I get when I make an investment in myself; the feeling that I'm worth my own energy, money and time. I'm worth of my love, care, compassion and affection. It makes me feel whole, that I matter and I deserve to feel good and happy about myself so that I can be of service to many and make a difference. And I do keep saying this, when I, you, us feel good and happy when can so show our best, do our best for the best people in our lives. By investing in ourselves we also and support ourselves and others who help and support us achieve our goals in life and health every single day, so that they can invest in themselves and support more people. Together we can do so much good in this life and planet.

Over to you now, I'd love you to share your views on this. Feel free to comment, DM or email me and let me know if how I can be helpful to you. And if you'd like to know more how health coaching can work for you, do not hesitate to drop me a line claryn@clarynnicholas.com.

Thank you for your time reading this. It means so much to me and please share it to anyone who might need to read this too.

Love and light 

Claryn xx

If it's still in your mind, it's worth taking a risk

If it’s still in your mind, it’s worth taking a risk
— Paulo Coelho

A month ago I took the plunge and resigned from my job as a health visitor to concentrate fully on my coaching business. It had been in my mind for a while and finally I had the go ahead from the heart to go and do it. If not now, when? It was not a decision I took upon lightly, it was very much considered and to be honest with you, trying to run a business properly and working full time, as well as being a mum and running a household isn't an easy task, so something had to give. When I set my heart on something, I have to give it wholeheartedly with everything that I have. So here I am; whilst still working my notice in, I can't help but feeling light, excited, joyful and happy having finally made this huge step with a tiny bit feeling of "OMG what have I done?". I know I will be just fine. Everything will be fine. I have belief in me, it's a risk bloody worth taking. I'm worth taking a risk for.

I have always been a bit of a rebel, especially as a child. The rebellious streak has always been there deeply rooted and now and again it will resurface but it's never left me. The rebel in me wanted to come out having had enough of being told what to do, how to do and to justify what I'm doing. It's not wrong but I simply don't want to conform anymore. On a more serious note though, I'm grateful for the experiences and opportunities as without those I wouldn't be here. Nevertheless when what you do no longer aligns with your heart and soul, for me, it doesn't feel right anymore to continue. Work is a huge part of life. It is life. I believe in doing something that I have passions and desire for that gives me that joy, satisfaction and fulfilment and serves my life's purpose.

My purpose makes my heart happy. You can be courageous or comfortable. But you can’t be both
— Unknown

Making one of the biggest and perhaps the scariest decisions of my life felt like homecoming. I am coming home to me. I feel now I can make my life's purpose live. I am free to choose what I want to do, to be creative and create, to channel my energy more positively, to take inspired action and inspire others, to share my passion and to express myself more authentically, freely and confidently. And more excitingly I'm co-creating something magical with the Universe. 

I can't see the whole stair cases but I've just taken the first step. Life is short and yet it's a long time. One must do what feels right and go where the heart leads. I have a lot to learn and everyday is a school day! It's exciting and scary at the same time but that's where growth happens and magic awaits. It's never too late to try new things. Everyday gives a new opportunity so use it or lose it. It's your life and only you can make things happen for you. I'm so grateful beyond words that I have this opportunity to start again and create a life I have always dreamed about. 

Love and light

Claryn xxx

Forgiveness sets you free

In order to move forward with your life, you have to forgive things that happened in your past and begin to let it go. It can be difficult to forgive when you've been really hurt. But I do believe forgiveness really sets you free because it gives your power back. Keeping anger and resentment inside you is toxic for your soul. By forgiving others, you're forgiving yourself too as you're giving permission to yourself to move on as you let go of those who no longer serve you. Can you see how this gives your power back? I felt the force to write a piece of forgiveness this morning after having yet another week of muddle as a way of releasing the tensions that had built up this week which drained my energy. I was not intending to publish it but I feel the need to as I wanted to share with you the positive impact it has in releasing all the negative emotions and energy and to encourage you to do the same when you're ready. But ready or not, just start writing. It feels empowering for me as it's freed up my energy to reclaim and activate my power again.

So, here goes....

I forgive my past life for giving me an unhappy and difficult childhood, for my mother who made me unhappy and feel scared of her most of the time because, looking back, she was probably scared herself, unhappy and frustrated and didn't know what to do or how to express her unmet needs that she had to be like 'that'. I forgive those people who slapped me across my face, ridicule, bully, make fun of, hurt, lied to, used, stole from me and broke my heart. Because without them I wouldn't be where I am today.

I forgive myself for being difficult, defensive, stubborn, hard, selfish, moody, ungrateful and at times difficult to love because I didn't love myself and felt unworthy of deserving and receiving pure love. I forgive myself for allowing those people to make me feel like that. I forgive myself for being suspicious and thinking the worst of people when they rejected me because I had to protect my heart for being hurt and I thought I had to be strong and hard so I could prevent from hurting. I forgive myself for wanting to fit in and be accepted to have a sense of belongings because I couldn't accept myself and express who I was, where I was from and what I was made of. 

I forgive myself for being unkind to myself when I denied help, love, attention and support offered to me. I forgive myself for all the bad things I did as a child because I wanted to be accepted and what other people had. I forgive myself for not believing in me. MOST of all, I forgive myself for not accepting and loving myself.

Without all those experiences, I would not have been where I am today, sitting in my kitchen, in my warm beautiful country home writing this and feeling such immense gratitude and blessing that fills my heart chambers to the brim and overflowing. It has taught me self-compassion, dignity, respect, honesty, loyalty, integrity, and the greatest of all, LOVE. It has taught me to be independent, driven and determined to always do my best to get what I want. It has led me to define my soul purpose in life. For that I AM so incredibly BLESSED and GRATEFUL.

Lots of light and love

Claryn xxx

Taking care of you

I used to think that self care was about all the nice things that I treated myself to such as pedicure, massage, lunches and coffee. I'm not saying it isn't, but it's more to it than that. I believe it's about everything and anything that nourishes, nurtures, and respects your body, mind and soul. It takes practice, lots of practices. For many, including me, having an intention is a great way to start the ball rolling. But making a start can be hard because 'there's always tomorrow' kind of thinking. Sometimes we overthink things about where or how to start, what it is that we need to do and how we can start doing it. Then excuses sometimes follow thick and fast. Well, as you know, making excuses isn't going to change anything. Overthinking isn't going to get you anywhere. But action will. Good intention followed by action will get you started and motivated. When you start seeing and feeling the difference will keep you going. Once you get going, it becomes a habit and eventually it becomes a lifestyle and a way of life. It requires determination and motivation to get into the mindset 'OK, I'm doing this for ME. To change my life, how I feel about myself, my life and my health, make me feel happier, sleep better, take control and so on.

The most important thing for me is inner peace. This is my biggest motivation and drive. Practising self care is essential and non-negotiable. It happens everyday. Being mindful about what you're doing, saying and feeling in itself is an act of self-care; it's a good start if you're not sure or don't know how you could possibly embed it in your daily routine. It's also about being gentle and kind with yourself.

Now, have a think, write things down and let me know, if you'd like, what is or has been your motivation to start or change something that you know going to be good for you? Did you go and do it or did you make any excuses? Be honest with yourself. What have you tried and stopped doing for whatever reason? What has been your roadblocks or success?

I so want to help women to take care of themselves better first so they can give the world and their loved ones their best. I have had a lot of help, from friends, personal trainer to business coach and everything else in between. It can be difficult to ask for help because we think we have to know and do everything. Asking for help too is an act of self care. Why suffer alone when you don't need or shouldn't have to. It's also not easy to change bad habits and stick to the new ones, it really can be hard to be accountable to yourself. So this is where I come in as your coach, someone who you're accountable to and to motivate and inspire you, to guide and support you instil the positive changes which are sustainable in the long term.

In the meantime, here's my top tips to start your self-care practice:

  • Be gentle and kind with yourself, you're doing your best. When you're having a bad day or have had a bad day, find a quiet moment, take few deep breaths - inhale fully and and slowly, then exhale slowly and steadily. You're having a bad day, not a bad life - think about what happened, what you did about it and what you'd do if it happens again. Think about how you dealt with that situation, what could you have done differently. Forgive yourself, forgive others and make peace with yourself. Move on knowing you've done your best in that particular situation.
  • Be mindful about what you say, do and feel. They way we say, do and feel reflect what's happening inside us - are they in alignment? If not, what's happening and why? Journaling is excellent to pour out your thoughts. I find when I journal I reflect and find what has worked, not worked, should let go and learn more. It helps me to learn more about myself.
  • Show up for yourself. Do something for you every single day. Move - go for a walk, even it's only 15 minutes, or workout to improve your fitness level. Stillness and focus - meditate, journal deep breathing exercises. Attend to the chores that you've put off. Rest. This is all 'me' time. These are the practices that I do, you all have different routines and practices, but the message is just 'do something for YOU' that will benefit your health and wellbeing. Make this non-negotiable.

When these become a routine, other things will follow more easily, because you've started prioritising you. I'd love to hear from you so let me know what you think and I can be of any further help, just drop me a line. 

You can sign up for my FREE Daily Journal prompt to help you get started and sign up for my newsletter. I have TWO spaces for 6 or 12 week coaching sessions in January. More details can be found in here.

Have a beautiful week ahead and remember be gentle with yourself, you're doing your best.

Lots of love

Claryn xx