How do I know if I'm heading to burnout?
Are you feeling the burn?
Burnout has been redefined as a syndrome linked to chronic work stress (WHO).
Here are the first 5 stages of burnout that you might recognise, as outlined by some psychologists:
The excessive and continuous need to prove oneself to fill the void of self-worth - deep down this is what you crave - to feel worthy, to fit in, to be accepted and the way to do it so to prove the hard way and become successful. Your success becomes a badge you wear as it means you can show the world you’re worthy. But somewhere along the line you’ve lost your identity.
Inability to switch off. The harder you work, the more difficult you find to switch off. When you’re not working, you can’t sleep worrying about everything and your to-do list is running around in your head all the time. You’re exhausted!
You’re neglecting your basic needs. In other words, self-care is non-existent. You’re at the bottom of the list. You’re sleeping 4-5 hours every night or even 10 hours but are still tired, not eating properly - looking for a quick fix in higher alcohol consumption to numb how you’re actually feeling, or relying on sugar and caffeine to get you through the day, not available or present for your family - when was the last you had fun with your kids?
Avoiding conflicts. You’re avoiding or deflecting conflicts, so not saying your truth because of fear. Consequently you feel panicky and worried. Maybe you don’t want to be seen as not ‘performing well’ or ‘up to scratch’, you feel ashamed that you don’t meet their expectations so you cover things up.
Disconnection from values. Your values are no longer important because your focus is all on your work. You’re driving away from what’s important to you in life and yourself.
This may not be obvious at first and worth checking in with yourself - how am I feeling today? Don’t ignore the signs that you’re not feeling okay. Talk to someone you trust. Some of my clients and the women that I talked to in the past said that they can’t talk to their work colleagues because they don’t trust them and feel that everyone has a different agenda. If this is what you’re thinking too, they’re probably feeling the same as you are.
I get it. I see you. I’ve been there.
Please talk to someone, maybe seek professional help, a counsellor, coach or therapist, even GP. There’s no need to feel ashamed about asking for help. It’s not a sign of weakness as portrayed and still believed in the society. It’s a sign of strength and resilience. Because you will bounce back stronger and that’s resilience.
In the bigger picture, as a parent, we want to be a great role model for our kids, don’t we? Let’s break the cycle together. Our worth is not defined by a badge of success or measured by how hard we work.
What can you let go off for now so you can take care of yourself?
How can you be kind to yourself?
Prioritise your needs but don’t expect too much of yourself.
In this blogpost I talk about how to avoid burnout that you might find useful.
Let me know if this resonates, and if I can help you, send a PM to chat. Working with a coach can help you find the underlying cause and ways to move forward to live the life you’re craving for. It’s been reported that burnout is best tackled by making lifestyle changes.
We can certainly explore this when we have a chat to see what lifestyle changes we can make.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Let yourself off the hook with love and compassion.
Love from me
Claryn xx
