healthandwellness

5 Ways To Stop The Wandering Mind

Do you sometimes think that how on earth some people seem to have it all together and yet you're struggling to string a sentence together?

I get it because I've been there. And this made me feel even more overwhelmed and inadequate! Does it make you feel like that too?

You're not alone. On a bad day when we're tired due to lack of or no sleep (hence the cause of bad day), the things we can usually respond well, tolerate and accept suddenly become intolerable and unacceptable and we respond in a way that perhaps slightly out of character. Everything seems to go wrong and we get even more worked up about it and then your thought process spirals out of control and you start believing that you’re useless, not good enough and so on.

Do you see how sometimes with one thought that is not even true can have the potential to mess up your day? When we’re feeling a little fragile and full self doubt, it’s so easy to get into comparison and feel inadequate. Our mind goes wandering and sometimes before we know it we get anxious. That is what mind does - wanders. We need to control what we think because it affects how we feel and do. Thoughts are simply thoughts and they are not real.

What can you do to stop the wandering thoughts? Here are some tips that you might find helpful:

  1. Switch you attention to your breath then take slow and gentle breath to calm yourself. Start with 5 breaths - in a safe environment, you might like to close your eyes when you do this breathing technique. You can do more if you can. Maybe 2-5 minutes. Your mind might wander and you might feel irritable and uncomfortable because maybe you’re not used to this. But give it a go anyway. Keep focusing on the breath. When you stop and take conscious breaths, your body knows you’re safe and hence your heart rate will return to normal and you can feel calm again.

  2. Bring your attention to the place you’re in, find the things you can touch, see, hear, smell. Then say to yourself ‘I am here’. ‘I am OK’. ‘Everything is OK’.

  3. Take a simple action - a practical action. It distracts you from what you were thinking and gets you to physically change something. Maybe walking, talking, cooking, making a cuppa, anything that will take your mind off what you were thinking.

  4. Make a short list (3-5) of the people and things that you have and are grateful for.

  5. Self-compassion: acknowledge yourself for the things that you have done and achieved and forgive yourself for the things that you have not done. It doesn’t change who you are. Love yourself and all that you are.

So back to you gorgeous one to remember that you are doing your best and you are enough.

By the way, no one has got it together so please go easy on yourself.

Love Claryn x

Investing in yourself

This is the subject that's close to my heart and one that I often battle with myself. But I believe it is a huge part of self worth. How so? Let me explain and then I'd love to know your views.

Whether it is eating well which can cost a lot of money and create confusion of what to buy, cook and eat, cooking which does take a lot of time sometimes, having treatment such as massage and other complementary therapies, taking up short courses to update your skills and knowledge, studying for a career change and working with trainers, mentors and coaches for business, lifestyle or health reasons. They all use money, effort and time. I don't know about you but the general feelings that I get is that often people think twice about this; I certainly used to, all the time, and tried to justify whether it was worth the money and time, what would be the compromise etc etc. Then the guilt and fear set in, what if this and that. The results of the things that we invest in ourselves tend not to be instant or are always directly visible or concrete, right? For example, that your body feels relaxed after a massage, you feel good after a workout that might show as sweat and red face but you can't see the result immediately, and when you've been studying you may not necessarily implement everything at once and you may not be able to see the result immediately either. If you can't yourself, how can you convince people how it's made the difference to you? It's not like having our done and nails done that we can see the result immediately or putting on new clothes or shoes.

Investing time, money and energy into ourselves is a form of self-worth and self-respect. Why would we not deserve to eat well and eat right so that our body can take care of us? Why would we not treat ourselves because our body is crying for it? We would do anything if it was our children, we would make them feel better, why would we often think twice, three times, forever when it came to meeting our needs? Why would we hesitate to invest in ourselves? Our whole-being is on an endless journey, wouldn't we invest in a car for it work effectively and efficiently to take us on to our travels? Why would we not do it to our body, our precious self? Surely we're worth millions over the cars?

I was toying on the idea this morning whether to book myself in for a massage this morning for my neck and shoulders which have been painful for a couple of weeks now (practising yoga does help eases them) and my left arm which I injured a month ago and doesn't seem to resolve despite stretching and moving it. I was toying because I felt guilty spending yet more ££ on me but I needed it, because I need not to feel pain or numbness that I can't lift heavy stuff and every time I move in certain ways it hurts. It's annoying and frustrating. So anyway I decided, I've tried everything and I now need help. It's absolutely OK to surrender and ask for help. We all need others to help us. It's more than OK to invest in our lives, health and well-being. In fact it's more than OK, it's a necessity. If you don't invest in yourself, who will?

It's the feeling that I get when I make an investment in myself; the feeling that I'm worth my own energy, money and time. I'm worth of my love, care, compassion and affection. It makes me feel whole, that I matter and I deserve to feel good and happy about myself so that I can be of service to many and make a difference. And I do keep saying this, when I, you, us feel good and happy when can so show our best, do our best for the best people in our lives. By investing in ourselves we also and support ourselves and others who help and support us achieve our goals in life and health every single day, so that they can invest in themselves and support more people. Together we can do so much good in this life and planet.

Over to you now, I'd love you to share your views on this. Feel free to comment, DM or email me and let me know if how I can be helpful to you. And if you'd like to know more how health coaching can work for you, do not hesitate to drop me a line claryn@clarynnicholas.com.

Thank you for your time reading this. It means so much to me and please share it to anyone who might need to read this too.

Love and light 

Claryn xx